Dear Soother - a letter of termination

Dear Soother,

It is with great regret that we must inform you of your termination as of November 16, 2009.

You have been an asset to our 'team' and most importantly to our son Max. You have been there for us in the hard times of sleep training, and a true friend in moments of panic, over-tiredness, boredom, and hunger. Unfortunately your role has become redundant and you are becoming no more than a crutch. More often than not, you are hiding in the cracks of the crib, or tossed on the floor attracting dust bunnies and god knows what else. With germ fighting being high on our new list of priorities, having to scramble to disinfect and immediately reinsert into an anxious little mouth is becoming a real drag, and has taken a toll on our team. We ask that you leave our premises quietly, without commotion and would appreciate it if you did not linger while saying your last goodbyes to our dear son.

We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors and if you would like a letter of reference, we would be more than happy to oblige.

Yours Sincerely,

CLB